In early February I was looking ahead to the summer at our plans to visit Tokyo. Knowing I’d need to find temporary arrangements for my dad while traveling, I looked around the area for respite care options. This coincided with the recognized need that eventually my dad would need to be in a different environment as his Parkinsons continued to progress, since I can’t hire a second helper to be around all day and if his mobility got worse I’d be stuck. Doing a respite stay as a trial of a facility was part of the thinking.
After finding a very nice assisted living facility across the border in Vermont, I had the feeling that a move there sooner rather than later might actually be the better decision. Bigger hallways and brighter, warmer rooms. Nurses available on-site and visiting medical team from Dartmouth-Hitchcock every two weeks to avoid needing to leave for primary care visits. Very nice, easy to use shower. Aside from the financial aspect, it seemed to me that being there could open him to more consistent stimulation, having more people around and better options for exercise and food.
We discussed the benefits and costs. And the costs were tough to swallow, but we ended up continuing our investigations and I took him to visit one day. He felt comfortable there and the benefits became even more real. We decided to make the move and set it up for March 10.
As March started, the Coronavirus news was building and my daughter’s high school trip to Spain got cancelled, but I kept focused on making sure the move would go smoothly and all things were in place. I wrote up detailed information about his daily routine for the nursing staff to reference, filled out all the paperwork and prioritized the move itself. I moved one carload of stuff on the Saturday before his move to get a headstart and have some things in his new studio apartment for his arrival.
On the morning of the move, I loaded up the car, got him dressed up and we got him settled. I put together his bed and chair, organized his clothes and everything and the friendly staff made sure he was taken care of. I made a few trips that day to make sure he had everything he needed (it’s only a 25 minute drive from our place).
I visited again on Wednesday morning to see how the first night went, make another delivery of supplies and built a rolling table, continuing to just get settled. Everything going great so far!
The next time I pulled up with a small bag of stuff, there was a note on the door that visitation was RESTRICTED. The director didn’t have my email address on his list yet, so I didn’t get the notice sent out the previous night. I understood and was happy that they were taking strong precautions to protect residents’ health.
But now I have to wonder: Do I have the BEST timing ever, getting him into a facility that can provide 24/7 care and all the other benefits before our new Coronavirus rules happened? Or was it the WORST timing ever, creating an indefinite wall between us? Who knows when I’ll be able to visit again, and it’s hard to keep that little voice in my head from asking ‘what if’ each day.
I’ve been checking in on him regularly and he seems to be taking it easy, liking the staff and food. He also got a referral for physical therapy that will happen at that facility so overall I should have no concerns. But what if?
The other aspect of the timing: Now that he is in the new facility, I was going to be looking to work again. Hahahahahahahahahahaha…… ugh, definitely worst on that front.